The Dolly and the Legacy: What We Really Pass Down
Our Financial Anxieties, Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors.... Have you thought about them lately?
When I turned two years old, I received a gift that would stay with me far longer than anyone expected—a small, soft dolly. To my toddler self, she was everything: a companion for adventures, a comfort during storms, and an unassuming witness to my earliest experiences of the world. Over the years, she became worn around the edges—her fabric faded, her limbs a little floppier—but to me, she remained precious.
A couple of years ago, I did something I had imagined doing for a long time: I gave that same dolly to my daughter on her second birthday.
She immediately wrapped her tiny arms around it with the kind of effortless love only a child can give. In that moment, I felt a deep, almost indescribable emotion—part nostalgia, part joy, and part awareness that something far more important was being passed down than just a well-loved toy.
It made me pause and think: What do we really pass down to our children?
Yes, there are the obvious things—heirlooms, traditions, stories. But there’s also a quieter, more powerful inheritance that flows through our everyday actions: our values. Our mindset. Our habits. And perhaps most silently and pervasively—our relationship with money.
Growing up, I internalized so many financial habits without even realizing it. How we approached spending, saving, giving, and even talking about money was absorbed in the background of my childhood. Some of those patterns have served me well. Others I’ve had to examine more closely and choose to do differently.
And now, I’m more aware than ever that I am doing the same—teaching my children through example. Not through lectures or spreadsheets (at least, not yet), but through subtle, consistent moments. The way I talk about work. The way I handle stress around bills or big decisions. The way I model generosity, gratitude, and boundaries. They’re watching. They’re learning.
That dolly, as sentimental as she is, represents more than my past. She’s now part of our shared story—mine and my daughter’s. And she’s a physical reminder of what’s at stake when it comes to legacy.
We often think about generational wealth in terms of numbers, accounts, or assets. And yes, those matter. But wealth is also emotional. It’s behavioral. It’s inherited in the way a child feels about money, and themselves, for the rest of their life.
So now I try to ask myself regularly:
- Am I modeling a healthy, balanced relationship with money?
- Am I teaching the value of things—not just their cost?
- Am I making space for conversations around money that are open, honest, and shame-free?
We won’t get it perfect—no one does. But we can be intentional.
We can decide which habits we want to pass down… and which ones we want to gently set aside, like old toys no longer needed.
The dolly may get a few more stitches and snuggles in the years to come. But the real gift is the awareness that we’re always passing something on. Let’s make sure it’s something worth keeping.
What are you passing down—intentionally or not—to the next generation?
